Growing up my mom was very strict with the people she would let me hang out with. She wouldn’t let me spend the night at people’s houses, and she would never fail to tell me “Juan, you need to be very selective when you choose your friends… not everyone deserves that position.” I didn’t really understand what she meant! In my eyes, anyone who wanted to play basketball or was nice to me would deserve to be called a friend (now I see why she was so persistent LOL). It wasn’t until later that I came to understand the profoundness of those simple words. It took me many podcast conversations, and a couple heartbreaks to realize that what my mom used to tell me when I was growing up, had become one of the most important principles of my life. “You become who you surround yourself with.”
A couple of months before I came to the States, I had started talking to this girl I liked. It was maybe the first time I had opened myself to seriously try to have a romantic relationship with somebody. I was always scared that if I talked to a girl, maybe they would interfere with my basketball career, so I’d just rather not talk to anyone. However, this time was different. I thought that coming to the States was something I wouldn’t accomplish, so I told myself, “Let’s give ourselves the opportunity to meet someone.” Surprisingly, coming to the States was in God’s plan for my life, and about 2 months into talking to her, I was flying to Houston. Y’all know how those first love experiences are… I didn’t want to do anything but be on the phone with her. I’d stay up late knowing that I had practice at 5 a.m. the next day, I wouldn’t talk to the 2 friends who lived with me because I was too busy texting her, and every now and then I’d forget to bring my homework to school because my head was probably in LA LA land. This went on for a couple of months until finally, we stopped talking. I was devastated! I am pretty sure I’ve never cried as much as I did during those days. I didn’t really want to do anything, and at some point, I remember thinking I wanted to go back to Colombia. Nonetheless, one of the guys who lived with me was loving enough to pick me up when I felt like I couldn’t (today when we talk on the phone, he calls me brother and so do I… and we MEAN IT). At the time he was probably one of the most disciplined people I had met. He would make a schedule for the homework that was due, he would work out religiously, and keep his clothes tidy. Juan and I (his name happens to be Juan too) started to get closer and closer. We would do some homework together, talk about life, and even sometimes jump in the pool after a rough school day. Eventually, my clothes started to look as tidy as Juan’s, I wouldn’t forget my homework as much, and working out became part of my every day. Not only did he pick me up when I needed it the most, but he poured a little bit of who he is into me. These are habits that I carry with me today (maybe not so much the schedule for my homework LOL) but keeping my clothes organized and working my body out, are pillars of my life. This only happened because Juan became one of the closest people in my life… We basically did everything together. “I became who I hung around the most.”
If you’ve been reading my blog for a while now, you’ve probably noticed that I am very insistent on saying that as young people we are setting the foundation for our lives. The things that we do today will place us somewhere in the future. To this, I’d like to add that the people we surround ourselves with play a big role in that foundation. If you hang out with 3 lazy people, you will probably become the 4th one. On the other hand, if you hang out with friends who like to stay active, you will probably become the next active one in the group. As my mom used to tell me, we need to be very selective with the people we want in our lives. People are constantly pouring who they are into our lives, and so are we. This is what I refer to as The Track of Life.
Imagine you are working out at a track field. As time passes you notice that people are going at different speeds. Some like to walk, others like to jog, and others like to run. You also realize that you’ve passed some people a couple of times, but also those who are going faster than you have passed you a couple as well. Now, let’s suppose you’d like to meet someone who is also at the track. If this person is going faster than you, what would you have to do to meet them? You will have to speed up so you can catch up to them. If on the other hand, this person is going slower than you. What would be the appropriate approach so you get to introduce yourself? Yep, that’s right, you would have to slow down. Our relationships don’t work much different than this analogy. The track field is our life. The people running at that same track are the potential relationships we could build in our real life, and the speed at which these people are working out., These are the beliefs, habits, and anything that will be poured into our lives once we get into a deeper relationship with them.
In life there is not a right speed or a wrong one… the right speed is the one you choose. What are your beliefs? What would you like your habits to look like? Is there something in particular you are looking for? We need to ask ourselves these types of questions. From there we can decide at what speed we want to run in the track of life. When you know the answer to these questions you are quick to recognize what kind of people align to who you want to become. If you know you want to be smart with finances, maybe it is time for you to stop hanging out with the kind of people who spend their paycheck before they get it. Sometimes, we need to let go of people in our lives because simply our values don’t align, and that’s okay. We are thankful for the time we got to share the miracle of life with them, but we understand that it is time to move on. Choose wisely and run with the ones that will pour into you whatever it is that you are seeking.
In the track of life, you need to motivate people as well. This is not a one-way deal, and we are not leeches. Try to pour into people as well. If you are passing someone and you notice that they want something different out of life… be the help you want! And inspire those who were placed in your track to be better (make sure you don’t get stuck with them though, if they don’t want to change, you move on). My friend Juan was always the same since the very first day we set foot in the States. For months I wouldn’t really talk to him. He tried to tell me one time that being in that relationship wasn’t the best thing at that moment, but I wouldn’t listen to him. He tried, I didn’t listen, so he moved on. Once I was ready to look for something different, he helped me. But it took effort from me to let him know that I was ready to change. You get the drill? Always be open to letting people join you in the track of life, just make sure you know where you are going. That way, if at any given time you need to separate from somebody, your heart will understand why you are choosing to move on.
As always, I am thrilled to be growing with every person who gets to read my blog. I can’t conclude without letting you know that I am also trying to figure this life out just as you are. However, I’ve found someone who has all the answers! His name is Jesus, and he has revolutionized my life. He is not a religion, he is not a church, and he certainly is not just a guy hanging on a cross. He gave his life so you can be free. If all this sounds weird to you… I’d love to invite you to tell him that you want to know him. All you need to say is Jesus, this guy Juan says that you revolutionized his life, and I’d love for you to do the same thing with me… I promise that you won’t regret it.