It’s freezing in Houston y’all!!! For anyone who’s never been to Houston and needs a little context, this is not normal. Normal would be for me to be complaining about the 90 to 100 degrees heat that we experience more than half a year, but this?? Nope, this is not normal. Nonetheless, I am very much enjoying it. I consider myself more of a cold-weather person rather than a hot one. I love to see how people get creative with their outfits… everyone just seems so elegant! Plus, on a holiday like today, it makes the perfect scenario to snuggle under a blanket, turn the TV on, and watch your favorite Netflix Show (that’s looking like Virgin River for me). I already knew it was going to be that kind of day since last week though. Like I said, It’s not normal! So, it’s been all over the news and some people were even freaking out (You can tell by the crowds of humans getting water cases at the store). As a result, and as the days were getting colder and greyer, I couldn’t help but think… man how cool would it be to have a girlfriend right now!! We could sit by the fire until we ran out of words, or we could be at her home playing board games with her parents and two little brothers (notice the movie I was already playing in my mind lol… for me she has 2 little brothers, for you she can have however many you want), or even better!!! We could snuggle under the blanket and watch Virgin River together. However, all the applications for a boyfriend were taken given such short notice, and unluckily I wasn’t able to find a partner for the occasion. So, here I am sitting in front of my computer writing this sad post. Nah… all jokes aside! This is not the first time in my life that I wish I was in a relationship. Sometimes I just think life would be better if I had someone to share it with. You go on Instagram and see how much fun everyone is having with their partner, you take a walk to the park and hear the laughs of the lovely couples, and since I am a rom-com kind of guy, movies like The Fault In Our Stars or Dear John, don’t help. Sometimes I just want to stick a sign on my forehead that says “AVAILABLE” and see what happens. Nonetheless, after all these feelings have passed and I have taken the time to write down my thoughts and remind myself why I am choosing to stay single during this season of my life, it all makes sense again.
Now, let me start by saying that I do believe life is better when you share it! And who better to share it with than the person we love? However, I believe there is a process we all should go through before deciding on getting ourselves into a relationship. Think of it as a cooking process where you are the food. No one wants to eat raw food (well, maybe some kind of fish… but for this case, you are going to be a delicious steak). What would happen if the waiter brought to your table a raw steak? Most likely you will turn it back huh? It might be the kind of cut you asked for, but the fact that it’s not cocked right ruins it all. Relationships work the same way my friend. I believe we all are a delicious type of cut! But if not cocked right, we may bleed on others. At this point, it would’ve been better not to come out from the kitchen in the first place. So, here is my first point: You will bleed on others what you don’t heal. It’s no secret that people get hurt in relationships, some even leave you with mental trauma! And if we don’t take the time to take care of ourselves after a previous relationship, most likely we will hurt our next companion.
As a second point, I’ve noticed that many times I want to get in a relationship because I feel lonely. Is there anything wrong with wanting a relationship? NOPE, but let’s ask ourselves what’s the thought that’s driving our motive. See, if the reason why we are seeking a boyfriend or a girlfriend is because we feel lonely, let’s ask the Lord to help us see what he sees in us! What makes us think that a person will fill what we can’t fill for ourselves? If we analyze this thought, we could say it’s a little selfish of us to think this way. Do we want to use another person’s time just so we can fill our void? It kind of sounds like we would be taking a lot and giving too little. In my walk, I’ve concluded that one of the signals that will dictate if I’m ready to jump into a relationship or not is when my motive has nothing to do with the fact that I feel lonely and more with the fact that I am alone. See, lonely is a mental state, and that is something you can only get rid of when you get with God and realize that he made you enough (for me that’s still an ongoing process). On the other hand, alone is a physical state, and wanting some company so you can pour beautiful things on them, and they can do the same with you… well, there’s nothing wrong with that. Be brutally honest with yourself and ask the question… do I feel lonely or alone?
As a third and final point, I have something personal to share with you. You can take it for yourself if you like it! On average a human life culminates around 70-75 years old (now, that’s them because me? I’m living till I’m a hundred!) I assume that if you are reading this blog post you are either a young millennial, you belong to Gen Z, or why not? You may even be Generation Alpha. The point here is that you are pretty young, and if the statistics work in your favor, you still have a long road ahead of you! So, what’s the rush my friend? I hope that if you are seeking a relationship is because you want it to end up being something for the rest of your life (if not shoot me an email!! I have some really good information on how sleeping around speaks to your self-value). So, if you want it to stay that way for the rest of your life… think about it!! You will never get the chance to be by yourself ever again!!!! The hangouts with your friends? Well, maybe you won’t be able to attend some of them because now you have different compromises, The walks in nature where you can sit in your thoughts… majority of them will now be with your partner and meditating on those ideas won’t be as important as talking. Your sleep schedule? Most likely say goodbye to that one, because from then on, you will want to be on your phone till late talking to your boo. My point is the time will come! But don’t rush it… at least that’s what I tell myself. As I constantly work on myself and grow in my relationship with God, I am getting closer to the day I’ll meet the one who will join me for the rest of the journey, but for now? let me enjoy myself and get to know me as much as possible. Let me take care of myself, love me, and believe what God believes about me, and when possible… let me make some memories with good friends.
As always I’m happy to be part of your journey my friend! remember that we are all trying to figure it out… so don’t stress, and please remember that you have a friend in me! Shoot me an email whenever you want to! I can’t close without saying and inviting you to get to know the one who will revolutionize your life! little by little he has been revolutionizing mine, and I hope you can experience the same!! Call on him… he is closer than you think.
PS: The poem below I wrote it this morning as I was going through my feelings… it helped me! So listen to it, it might help you.