THE PRESSURE OF THE PRESENT, THE FEAR OF THE FUTURE

I sold my car about a month ago, and it’s been a whole adjusting experience! But one of the most significant changes that I had to make, is the fact that now instead of driving from my job to my house, I am running. I do it so I can save up faster because if one thing is true about Houston, is the fact that you need a car… this city is massive! So, last Tuesday and right when I was about to hit mile 4, this overwhelming feeling took over me. I felt as if somebody was asking me “Juan, why are you worrying so much about the future? Why are you trying to be in control of everything?” immediately I stopped running so I could meditate on these questions, and after a couple of minutes of walking I came to the conclusion that I was scared. Scared of my future not turning out how I want it to, scared that I end up somewhere I don’t like, and scared of making wrong choices.

As young people, we face the pressure of the life that is ahead of us, being this a HUGE deal, our response is constant worrying. However, I’ve never seen or experienced a better outcome in my situations by worrying, in fact, this only brings more stress and anxiety to my body. After I answered the questions in my head, I felt like the voice in my mind was telling me “I hear you, but you don’t have to worry about where you are going when I already know where I am taking you Juan.” I didn’t finish my run that day, instead, I walked the other mile and a half that I had left, wondering about the truth of those words. I know that saying don’t worry is way easier than applying it, but as I’ve been trying to learn how to live Thekingdomsway, every day it becomes more evident to me that worrying has never been a part of God’s plan for our lives. Instead, I’ve realized that his desire is for us to let go of control of any situation. A couple of months after I was granted a Scholarship to play basketball for a High School in the States, Covid-19 hit. I remember it as if it was yesterday when it went from being a virus that was taking lives in China to getting the email from my school that after we came back from spring break, we were going to be doing classes online for a week due to Covid. A week turned into two and then turned into a month until they made the decision that we were going to be doing online for the rest of the year. The pandemic had a very rough economic impact on my High School, leading them to make the decision to remove my scholarship for the following year. I was in shock, and very frustrated, I couldn’t understand why God would give me something that I had fought for almost my entire life and then allow it to be taken away. My parents were going through a really hard economic situation during that time so there was no way we were going to be able to meet the tuition amount that the school was asking for my senior year. Not only this was a problem, but my parents couldn’t afford to send me back to Colombia, so I was stuck in the States. My aunt Sandra (who holds a very special place in my heart) didn’t hesitate to pay for my ticket to go and live with her in Albuquerque as soon as the school year was over. Now, I must be honest with you, I was thankful that I had a place to stay, but this didn’t take away my worry about not knowing if I was going to be able to find a High School for my next academic year. Not only did I want a High School, but I also wanted (and still want) to stay living here in the States. But anytime I lifted my head to look at the future my mind would tell me that every day I was getting closer to having to go back to live in my country. After living with my aunt, my cousin Viviana called me and offered me to live with her in Boston, and that she would pay for my tickets. Since I couldn’t find any school in Albuquerque, I didn’t think about it twice and I accepted her offer. I went from Albuquerque to Boston, from Boston to New Jersey, and from New Jersey back to Colombia. You can Imagine how I felt being back in Colombia! This was nothing like what I had planned, and my frustration and constant worrying didn’t even allow me to enjoy my stay in Colombia. Yes, you read right! My trip to Colombia was only for a few days because, after about 2 weeks of being in Colombia, I got a call on a Friday from the new coach that the school had hired telling me that he wanted me back. I explained the whole scholarship situation to him, and his response was “ok, let me see what I can do.” 3 days later the director of the international students’ department called me crying, she congratulated me because a miracle had happened! Surprisingly they granted me the scholarship back. The following week I was being picked up at Houston’s airport by my new coach (Coach Patrick). There are a couple of things that I always try to remind myself when I look back at this story, and today I would like for you to start applying them in your life.

• “The situation ahead of you may not be what you want, but it is what you need.” See, God could give us anything we ask for if he wanted to, but he knows that this wouldn’t be beneficial for us, instead, he gives us what we need. A perfect example of this is lottery winners, I would say that about 99% of the population, want to make more money. But it is proven that when you give lots of money to someone who doesn’t know how to steward it, they will return to being broke. Same with our lives! Why would God gives us what we want if he knows that if we get it, we won’t know how to steward it, even worse, why would he give us something that would be the very thing that will harm us? (that’s why when we get to the end of our race, there are some things that no matter how much we wanted them, we won’t get) so instead of God giving us everything we ask for, he gives us what he knows will lead us toward the path he has designed for us.
• “God has a bigger vision” Any situation that is in front of us has a deeper purpose than what we see on the surface. I didn’t understand why I had to go to my aunt’s house instead of being with my family in Colombia! (10 Colombians came with me on a Scholarship and 10 of them went back home when Covid hit) I was the only one who couldn’t go back! But the reality is that I needed my aunt at that point in my life. This lady helped me grow up; she gave me my very first tools to learn how to be independent. I also didn’t understand why I had to wake up at 4 am in the morning to work construction when I lived in Boston. Still, when I look back I realize that God was teaching me how to be responsible, I didn’t understand why I had to walk 1 hour to make it to practice with a team that I found in Boston, but as I am writing this I realize that God was showing me that even when I feel like I am by myself he never leaves me. I didn’t understand why many times the coach from that team wouldn’t invite me to some of the games but had he invited me to those games, I wouldn’t have had the chance to bond with two of the most awesome people I’ve ever met. They showed me that real love surpasses any race, culture, or color (Jackelyn and Dilone).
• “ My difficult situation will be a blessing to someone else in the future.” When I went to New Jersey, I had to sleep in a bed that was more metal springs than a real mattress, I was overlooked by every single person that I met during my stay, and I constantly had somebody telling me that simply I wasn’t enough. However, this difficult experience allowed me to help one of my closest friends from the group of Colombians to come back to the States and keep pursuing his dream of becoming a golly. Finally, when I look back at this crazy experience, I realize that all the things that I went through, as difficult as they were, have inspired me to be seated today in front of a screen writing something that I know will help millions of young people! Hadn’t God put me through these situations you wouldn’t be reading this post.

Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” As I am learning every day, I’ve realized that even though I can’t do anything about the future, there is something I can do about the present, I can align with God’s heart! Friend, he is our creator and he is the only one who knows where he wants to take us and what is best for us, that’s why at the beginning of this post I said that he wants us to let go of any control! Because when we let go of our control we allow God to shape our path to reach the destiny of what he created us for. You can’t control the future, but you can control how you respond to the situations ahead of you! And the best way to respond to any situation is by always trying to follow Jesus’ heart. That way you will always have the peace that it is no longer you trying to get to where you want, but it is your father taking you to where you belong.

As always, I am thrilled to be growing with every single person who reads my blog, and I want to encourage you to either start or continue a relationship with Jesus. It won’t make your life perfect, but it is the key to living a meaningful life.